Hodge: Society’s emphasis on extroversion overshadows individual desire for solitude
We can’t shut up.
Nowadays, we talk with our fingers to a keyboard, typing out tweets, posts and texts. And as our modes of communication continue to expand, there’s an endless amount of chatter taking place and an ever-present need to “put ourselves out there,” both socially and professionally, to succeed.
We are a generation of extroverts. The outgoing thrive, but the quiet struggle.
The job market, especially today, does not welcome the introvert: The deep-thinking person who sits quietly in classes and meetings and only speaks when he or she has something extraordinary to say.
I never really considered this until recently, when I was filling out summer job applications. Surveys for positions such as cashiering and waitressing asked questions to determine how outgoing I am, to see if I am bubbly, gregarious — extroverted.
Am I a natural leader? Do I prefer to work on a team or individually? The more questions I answered, the more I felt myself succumbing to the pressure to answer as if I were an extrovert.
I felt that by admitting I prefer large groups of people and busy environments, I made my application more competitive. For many survey questions, there wasn’t even an option for introverts, which is, I must say, a category I have fit into for most of my life.
There were little to no selections for those who prefer to think rather than speak, or explore their own thoughts rather than run to the nearest social gathering.
The fact is, with our job pursuits on the line, we push ourselves to chase any opportunity that presents itself, regardless of how extroverted we might be.
This encouragement to be bubbly begins at an impressionable age. Every semester, on my high school progress reports, some teacher commented that I needed to speak more in class. My grade in the class was an A, but my teachers wanted more.
I’m quiet. So sue me.
Us quiet people are always urged to come out of our shells, as if we are doing something wrong.
Of course, social media only further promotes an extroverted lifestyle and devalues the ability to keep quiet.
On Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, we are asked to post from the moment we log in to our accounts. Facebook asks me daily, “What’s on your mind?” It’s like the sensitive male touchstone that is currently missing from my life, but it’s a website — hey, at least it asks.
Now, I can make a choice to tell my Facebook friends about my empty printer ink cartridge, or I can keep quiet. While the choice is there not to, many account-holders “post just to post.” They feel the need to put their thoughts, feelings and daily occurrences — no matter how minor — out there.
I rarely post statuses on the web and do not consider myself a “cyber extrovert.” However, I no longer shy away from large social gatherings or the opportunity to volunteer my point of view in class.
I can be an extrovert, as I am encouraged to be.
Ultimately, I still embrace the opportunity for introversion. It allows me to think, adapt and just be as an individual.
But society’s emphasis on extroversion and gregariousness overshadows the desire for solitude, and most importantly, the need for quiet.
While we are pressured to fit the extrovert mold, we can challenge ourselves as a generation to be thoughtful about our communication. We must ensure it is not a negative attribute to be considered quiet, regardless of a teacher’s comments or a job survey.
After all, sometimes silence speaks volumes. Sometimes it is the words not spoken that truly matter. So shh … for a change. Let’s be quiet.
Anna Hodge is a freshman magazine journalism major. Her column appears weekly. She can be reached at ahodge@syr.edu and followed on Twitter at @annabhodge.
Published on April 11, 2013 at 1:28 am