Heather Pyle and Anthony Odorisi can read each other’s minds. Or at least, they say, that’s how it seems.

Watching them interact, it wouldn’t be hard to believe. As they chat back and forth they pass knowing glances and finish the other’s thoughts out loud.

“We met at a frat party, and we became inseparable,” Odorisi said. “We just kept talking the whole night and haven’t stopped since.”

Odorisi and Pyle, now seniors, met during their sophomore years and have been together ever since. As a couple, they say they’ve gotten the opportunity to grow in the past three years in ways they may not have experienced if they had never met.

“It’s a lot of little things put together,” Odorisi said. “It’s not just one thing that makes it great, it’s all the little things that add up.”

Not all couples get to experience college together, though. Allie Gendreau and her boyfriend Matt Gross have spent the past semester learning to be a couple while apart.

Gendreau met Gross in fall 2012 while studying abroad in London as a junior. Gross, who was a senior at the time, was dating someone else, and Gendreau had a boyfriend of her own. The two became fast friends and carried on their companionship after they returned to campus in the spring. After breaking up with their respective partners for various reasons, the two got together and have remained a couple.

Since then, Gross has graduated and moved to Chicago, while Gendreau is finishing her senior year at Syracuse University. Missing her boyfriend is hard, Gendreau said, but it is not as difficult as she thought, likely because of the feelings the two have for each other.

“He and I can be really weird together, and it’s comfortable,” she said with a smile. “There’s nothing with him that I can’t talk about.”

Gendreau recalled a recent trip to the zoo the two took when Gross was in town. She chuckled and said they had acted like children, spending the day running around holding hands and pointing at things excitedly.

“We were the only ones there, and we were being really over the top,” Gendreau said. “It was so fun to just let go of everything and run around the zoo and act like 5-year-olds.”

But beyond just being able to be silly together, Gendreau said spending time apart has matured her and Gross’ relationship significantly. She said their communication is a key reason why their relationship is viable, even at a distance.

“Since we don’t have the daily contact and the face-to-face, the communication has gotten to be even stronger,” Gendreau said. “We just kind of make it work, and when we need more support, we ask for it. That’s what works for us. When we need each other, we call each other and can say, ‘I need your attention right now. This is what is going on.’”

Even Pyle and Odorisi, who both live on campus, say communication is an essential reason for why they work well together. When they talk, they are very direct, and that works for them.

But communication didn’t always come easy for Pyle and Odorisi. It’s a skill they said they’ve developed through the years they’ve known each other. Pyle said she needed to learn to not pick fights with her boyfriend when she was feeling stressed about something else; Odorisi said he’s learned to express himself to Pyle about things he previously would have kept to himself.

This communication, Pyle said, has created a support system she can count on, and one she uses to drive her goals.

“I was ambitious before we started dating, but now, since I know I have his support, I’m able to be more ambitious because I know he’s going to be there,” Pyle said. “Just the security I feel in the relationship helps me to better myself and do things I might not have done before.”

Professor Joseph Fanelli, who teaches classes on human sexuality and relationships at SU, said the key to good relationships is good communication, relationship flexibility, emotional closeness, compatibility and the ability to handle conflict. In practice, Odorisi, Pyle and Gendreau said they have found these points important.

One of the most important things all three also touched on was individuality: the notion that though they have their loved ones, they are happy and capable people on their own first.

Gendreau summed up the philosophy of her relationship with a quote that her mother — who’s been married to Gendreau’s father for almost 30 years — told her.

Said Gendreau: “She told me ‘Always make sure you grow together, but parallel, never as one. You should never be stagnant. As long as you’re growing in parallel, you’re doing well.’”

Published on October 21, 2013 at 12:37 am

Contact Lara: lsorokan@syr.edu