So you want to be an adviser for undergraduates? Congratulations. I’m sorry to hear that the Department of Motor Vehicles wasn’t hiring, but don’t worry, you can still make thousands of lives more difficult right here.

It’s honestly a relatively easy job. You really just need to know the advising materials we pass out to students that they can easily read on their own. Here are some insider tips and tricks that you won’t find in the advising materials though.

First, and most importantly, remember everything is a teaching moment — even advising. In fact, especially advising. Sure, we aren’t technically their teachers, but that doesn’t mean we can’t impart valuable knowledge on the students that come to us. That’s what we are here for, right? Not to enroll them into courses where they would get such knowledge.

A lot of students will come to you that are dually enrolled in another college at the university. When this happens, tell them to go ask the other college. It’s kind of like “if mom says no, ask dad” but in this situation, we are just adding unnecessary extra hoops for them to jump through. The other college is also all in on this, and they will tell them to come back to us — and so on and so forth. It’s fun. It’s like tennis but instead of some trophy, it’s the student’s future at stake.

For students that aren’t dually enrolled, and are really just your responsibility, make sure not to get to know them at all. Keep them at arm’s length. First off, this will make it easier to mislead them and again teach them the aforementioned lessons. But also, that’s a lot of effort. They can’t expect us to do that when all we expect is that they enroll in 12-19 class hours a week, put in at least twice that outside of class time, be involved in leadership roles in extracurriculars, hold a job, make beneficial and deep social connections and remember to keep themselves alive.

You really should never be too comfortable with the students or even with the content you should be an expert in. If you get to a point where you feel comfortable and capable in your job, let us know. We will switch your students and the students of another adviser. Every student should have the experience of multiple advisers having to take multiple semesters to adjust to their needs. Can’t have you getting complacent.

Finally, always make sure to tell students they can’t graduate early. It’s super feasible. In fact, in most majors, they can almost accidentally complete all of the requirements in 3 years, just by choosing blindly. But definitely be sure to tell them they can’t and insist that even 5 years will be cutting it close.

Honestly, as much as I keep mentioning these advising materials, don’t bother reading them. I only keep bringing them up in case this guidebook accidentally gets seen by anyone in power. They’re exceedingly dull and really just a waste of time. Plus, if you don’t read them, the students that know what they are talking about get that extra opportunity to be self-sustaining, and the students that don’t learn that they should be. You can just guess on what counts and what doesn’t. Really, all of the courses are just as useless and build no skills anyway. But at least if we completely screw them over, they can learn the harsh realities of life.

Patty Terhune is a senior policy studies and television, radio and film dual major. This semester’s advising scare was when Newhouse sent her a degree check that said none of her policy studies courses counted and she would have to stay another semester. When asked, they said, “it’s just in case you decide to drop your other major.” Follow her on Twitter @pattyterhune or reach her at paterhun@syr.edu. 

Published on November 9, 2016 at 6:27 pm