The love of Valentine’s Day reminds me of the whole Team Edward and Team Jacob ordeal. Women and girls between the ages of 12 and 99 devoted their lives to read four novels, watch five movies and tirelessly argue about which love interest Bella should choose.

Some argued she should pick Edward for his heroic chivalry, while others advocated for Jacob because then she can lick his abs whenever she wanted. But the viewpoint far less visible was that of those who said she shouldn’t have to choose. Those that said Bella could have both and the world wouldn’t end.

There’s a reason there weren’t any “Team Both” T-shirts or bumper stickers to be found amongst the “Twilight” love triangle craze: Society is stuck on monogamy, and pop culture is holding the glue.

Think about “Orange is the New Black,” “How I Met Your Mother” and “Gossip Girl.”  Monogamous couples are everywhere, making us think our heart, and body, can be given to one and only one other person.

Like most aspects of pop culture and the media, these plot lines and characters serve as models of how we think we should live our lives. If we found ourselves in a love triangle of our own, the pop culture handbook of love would have us believe the only solution is to freak out and incessantly debate over who will win our love.

The thing is, not all people live their lives according to this narrow-minded handbook. Polyamory — engaging in more than one consensual relationship — is gaining popularity in the U.S, and pop culture needs to catch up.

Psychology Today estimates that around 1.2 to 2.4 million people in America practice polyamory. In other words, 1.2 to 2.4 million potential buyers of those “Team Both” stickers.

But what does the word polyamory even mean? Not to be confused with polygamy, polyamory is expressed in various ways.  There is ‘swinging,’ open relationships, “throuples” — three person couples, according to Cosmopolitan — and multiple long-term partners. Polyamory is a way people can express their love in a way that can be less possessive than conventionally monogamous avenues.

Cue Edward not pulling Bella closer to him whenever Jacob is near.

To make more sense, take the analogy of friendship. Do you have just one friend? Probably not. But if you do, that’s totally okay. However, most people have more than one friend for more than one reason.

We have friends who give us different things. We have that one friend who we call when we want to drink, another who answers our questions about filling taxes and a friend for exchanging annoyed glances when our professor opens a 52-slide PowerPoint.

They may be different, they may be of different importance, but they’re all friends. The same can be said for polyamorous partners.

Some studies have found engaging in this form of a relationship is healthy. Take the Live Science article “New Sexual Revolution” by Stephanie Pappas. She claims polyamorous relationships in general have more communication, negotiation and healthy ways of dealing with jealousy — all of which contribute to a positive relationship.

That being said, in the name of equal and accurate representation, polyamorous TV and movie characters are much needed.

As much as I loved watching Bella being torn to pieces by a situation that could be fixed with a long conversation, I would be more interested in seeing a character that realizes they are allowed to be interested in more than one person, magical creature or not.

Despite what Sony Pictures or Universal Pictures might have us believe, monogamy isn’t the only way. Whether they’re right for you or not, polyamory practices are coming into light now more than ever.  And who knows, maybe in the future we’ll see less sad ending love triangles and more “love rectangles” with a happy ending.

Renata Husted is a senior public health major. Her column appears weekly in Pulp. You can email her at rfhusted@syr.edu.

Published on February 13, 2017 at 9:23 pm