The month of February contains one of the most important days of the entire year. No, I’m not talking about Valentine’s Day or Presidents’ Day. This day — this day is much more important than those days. This day occurs within the first week of February and is a day when people from all over North America come together to cheer on their favorite guy.

Have you guessed what day it’s yet? Did you read the title of this article? Think the day is the Super Bowl? Well then, you’ve been duped! Because, my friends, Feb. 2 marks the most important day of the year: Groundhog Day.

That’s right, it’s #GroundhogSzn, and I’m absolutely hyped! For those of you who are unfamiliar with the holiday, it’s a beautiful celebration in which people gather in the small town of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, to observe the habits of a graceful young groundhog by the name of Phil.

But that’s not all. This one day is the single determinant of how long our winter will last. How can that be, you ask? Well, let’s look into the history of Groundhog Day.

As your resident Groundhog Day expert, I can confidently tell you that not one human being on planet Earth knows how such a day came about. Maybe Wikipedia knows, but not me.

Here’s my best guess though: I think that Punxsutawney Phil can talk, and that one day, thousands of years ago he walked outside, looked down, and said, “Oh sh*t! That’s my shadow!” And then, bam, six more weeks of winter.

I know what you’re thinking: a talking groundhog? Impossible. They don’t have the mental capabilities for that.

Well, just think about it for another minute. If Punxsutawney Phil can’t talk, then that means someone would’ve had to just be tracking this groundhog for years, waiting for him to see or not see his own shadow. Then, the tracker would have had to instinctually been like “OK, now let’s count how many more weeks of winter there are,” right after the shadow was or wasn’t spotted. Sounds like a load of bologna to me.

So, eliminating that second scenario, it has to be either my first theory, or that someone just thought it would be a cool tradition and made up the holiday — which is even less likely than the original second option.

So, since we’re going to go with my first talking groundhog option as the correct story — for obvious reasons — that means this Punxsutawney Phil guy has a lot of power. What if he just doesn’t feel like looking down one day, so then he doesn’t see his shadow, and then winter ends sooner? Or, what if Phil is in a bad mood one day and just waits for his shadow to appear so then we get more winter?

Or maybe he can choose how much winter we do or don’t get? Say no one really shows up for his big Groundhog Day party, and Phil gets upset. Now, Phil has the choice of choosing between a nice early start to the warm season for the humans who didn’t attend his party, or 50 years of snow for those bastards. Scary stuff.

With that being said, if you’re not excited for Groundhog Day, get excited. Please. Phil is still around and just as powerful as ever. So, get hype this Feb. 2 — not for me, but for humankind. And don’t forget about Phil.

Annabeth Grace Mann is a sophomore film major. Her column appears biweekly. She can be reached at agmann@syr.edu.

Published on January 31, 2018 at 10:43 pm