College life can be a big change to some students, and adjusting to classes and the Syracuse University pace, along with finding the right living situation with a new roommate can be challenging, said Syracuse University residential staff. 

After spending a year as a resident adviser in Lawrinson Hall, Jackson Calhoun said the best way to create a stable relationship with your roommate is by getting out of the dorm room. He added that finding an interest outside of being roommates is a way of getting to know each other. 

But while getting to know a roommate, Calhoun said it’s important to set boundaries. Simple things — like setting a lights-out policy the night before a roommate has an early class or making sure used bowls are washed — can help produce a more comfortable living space, said Calhoun. 

“Being mindful…that both of you are coming from very different backgrounds and living situations, different families. And understanding that there has to be a middle ground to come to,” said Calhoun. 

RAs will also have each roommate sign a living agreement where both students agree to a set of rules, said Booth Hall Residence Director Adam Wallander. 

 

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Wallander, who has eight years of experience as a residence advisor and director at SU and other campuses, said it’s important to be upfront during that process despite the fact that it might be difficult not knowing how others will react. He added that during the process it also helps to make compromises. 

One of the most common problems Wallander said he’s seen is lack of communication between roommates. Having an open conversation with each other without hostility helps ensure neither student becomes defensive, he said. Wallander added going to an RA or using other resources on campus to deal with living situations is advised as well. Calhoun also said going to counselors from Health Services can give students a fair, outside opinion.

Some other common issues Calhoun has noticed is dealing with roommates’ guests — particularly with significant others. 

“A lot of relationships do begin to blossom after the first month of college,” Calhoun said. 

One way to help with any uncomfortable scenarios is for students to establish two sets of rules: one for regular guest and one set for significant others, he said.  

Former Shaw Hall RA Cynthia Kar said that most living disagreements arrive later in the year, when it may be awkward to bring up problems. But she said she encourages students to check in with one another and see if their preferences on any set rule or activity in the room has changed. What may have been okay in the beginning of the year, may not be later on, she said. 

With years of experience, Wallander said students should take advantage of the events their RAs host to meet other residents from other floors. He added that it creates a community, which is beneficial. 

What all three experienced RAs said is for students to be mindful of one another. 
“Recognizing that the space is not just yours,” Wallander said. “If your roommate brings up an issue to you, don’t become defensive right away. Do a little bit of self-reflection and say, ‘Hey, is there something that I can do better?’”

Published on August 22, 2019 at 9:44 am

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