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It’s October. That means we’re getting to one of the most dreaded points in the year: midterms. For most, midterm season includes tests, papers, projects and the realization that you haven’t been to your history lecture since the second week of classes.

So this means deciding to stay up all night to study for these hellish exams, not to mention finish the papers you saw on the syllabus at the beginning of the year and have given no thought to since. It’s not like it’s your job to keep up with this stuff! Your professor should’ve reminded you. (Your professor has sent out three separate emails about the assignment in the past week.)

9:00 p.m.
I call this the “optimistic start.” You just drank three iced coffees and are ready to go. I mean, they were more sugar and milk than anything, but you feel energized, and that’s what matters. You get your laptop out excitedly, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Fun, inspirational music plays in the background. Who knew that European house music from the ‘90s could be so motivating? Nothing can stop you. You’re a study machine!

11:00 p.m.
Those three iced coffees start to hit and you barely make it to the bathroom. It feels like a tiny gnome is hammering at your colon with a laxative hammer. While in there, you watch TikTok on the toilet. You spend an hour watching videos of an ASMR chef making meals such as Beef Wellington.

1:00 a.m.
Congratulations, you’ve finished studying for your first test of the week! Or at least you looked at some flashcards that a stranger online made. You now have to start a two thousand word paper that is due at 9:30 a.m., but you got this! With ease, you make another pot of coffee, find a Pomodoro timer on YouTube (Three cycles made up of 45 minutes of studying with a 15-minute break, it’s laughable to think you’ll be able to focus for 45 minutes straight) and get to work.

3:00 a.m.
Papers are hard. You have 200 words and have fallen asleep three times. The Pomodoro timer is long gone by now, and you’ve already taken three snack breaks and two breaks to cry into your cup of coffee. You debate using AI, but then decide to take the noble route. You write 50 more absolutely unintelligible words (something about squirrels being an integral part of the Russian Revolution?) before shedding a few more tears into your coffee and falling asleep on your laptop.

8:00 a.m.
The sun comes up and wakes you. You realize that you just slept for five hours when you were supposed to be writing your paper and go into a slight panic. You write 1,800 words of absolute nonsense and then click “submit” through tears. Now time to reward yourself! As a treat, you let yourself sleep through your 9:30 lecture.

Published on October 1, 2023 at 10:23 pm

Contact Sarah: sswells@syr.edu