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If there was any indication Mary Bronstein’s newest film, “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You,” would induce stress, look no further than the opening shot. In a tight close-up of the spiraling therapist, Linda (Rose Byrne), she listens to her ailing daughter’s (Delaney Quinn) therapist argue that she should be part of the therapy as well. Linda refuses to admit it before she breaks down.

From there, the anxiety kicks in, with constant noises from her daughter and her oxygen machine. Their apartment ceiling loudly collapses due to extreme and unexpected leakage. Cue the title card.

“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You,” which premiered at the 2025 Sundance Film Festival, gives you little time to breathe. For Linda, whether it’s systemic stigmas or mistakes of her own making, she doesn’t have the time. The film’s brutal portrait of motherhood doesn’t have simple answers or satisfying conclusions. With surprise performances from late-night host Conan O’Brien and rapper A$AP Rocky, Bronstein, in her first film since her 2008 mumblecore picture “Yeast,” directed one of the most fascinating and stressful movies in a while.

With her husband (Christian Slater) out of town and unavailable to co-parent, Linda struggles to manage her child. Much of Linda’s stress comes from the whining and noises from her daughter’s machine. Additionally, most of the shots of Linda in the opening minutes of the film are claustrophobic close-ups; not to mention the psychotic scenarios Linda finds herself in every day.

After the ceiling collapses, Linda and her child stay in a hotel with an unhelpful motel desk clerk and superintendent (Rocky) who consistently tries to flirt with her — much to her dismay.

At work, her fellow therapist and personal shrink (O’Brien) becomes increasingly combative, with more pressing questions about her past. If that isn’t bad enough, a patient of hers, also a stressed mother, leaves Linda her baby.

There’s no escape for Linda.

Recent films have tackled this same subject. In particular, the Amy Adams-led thriller “Nightbitch” depicts Adams’ motherly character convincing herself she’s turning into a dog. While that film has an obvious metaphor and paper-thin depictions of weaponized incompetence, “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” never lets you off with an answer that’ll make you feel good.

Through a mixture of guilt for her previous actions and a lack of empathy from others, Linda generates sympathy and criticism. No character is that simple in this world, very similar to the consistent doom present in Mike Leigh’s “Hard Truths.”

Byrne’s performance reflects a career building up to a moment where she isn’t on the sidelines. In her “Insidious” and “X-Men” films, she primarily plays second-fiddle to men and their struggles. In her collaboration with Bronstein, Byrne lays herself bare in the traditions of legendary actresses like Gena Rowlands.

But some of the magic of “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” comes from its dark humor. Plenty of the stressful sequences take on the same tone as a dark joke that equally makes you laugh and feel uncomfortable. Rocky and O’Brien’s performances are astonishing because they don’t have much experience in dramatic acting.

O’Brien, in particular, gives a monologue that’s equally serious and hilarious. No spoilers here, but it’s by far the highlight of the whole film. Only a comedic talent like O’Brien could pull off the balance he creates. During his comedy career, he was never afraid to push into absurdity, like when he made an appearance on the YouTube series “Hot Ones.”

Sometimes, O’Brien is naturally funny, which happens when you have been a comic for most of your life. But he shows an understanding of harshness toward Linda, especially as she continues to lose control.

Bronstein’s movie never wants to keep audiences safe or satisfied. Whenever there are moments of calm, Bronstein throws you back into deep angst. Few films have ever made viewers squirm as much as “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You,” reminiscent of Safdie brother films like “Good Time” and “Uncut Gems” (Josh Safdie is also a producer on this picture).

Some of the finest films from Sundance don’t make bold proclamations about societal forces like motherhood or Black artistry in “Sly Lives! (aka the Burden of Black Genius).” Rather, these films serve as how societal forces can affect a person. In “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You,” the experience is negative but reveals the potential for some of the darkest impulses possible. That’s how the film shakes viewers to the core.

Published on January 28, 2025 at 10:26 pm

Contact Henry: henrywobrien1123@gmail.com